Category: Glimpses of Life

I’ve been reading a book on my Apple iPad called “When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection” by Gabor Matte, M.D.  It’s really quite interesting. The book defines what emotional competence is. The author’s definition is as follows:

Emotional competence requires:

• the capacity to feel our emotions, so that we are aware when we are experiencing stress;
• the ability to express our emotions effectively and thereby to assert our needs and to maintain the integrity of our emotional boundaries;
• the facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent issues from the past. What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood.  If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or the threat of loss where none exists and
• the awareness of those genuine needs that do require satisfaction, rather than their repression for the sake of gaining the acceptance or approval of others.

When I read the phrase “the facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent issues from the past” a bulb lit up in my brain.

One of the struggles I’m having living in our current house is the idea of having bugs around me since our property has many trees. Never mind that there aren’t that many. Somehow, in my mind, the thought of “them” being out “there” causes anxiety for me — stress.

I remember as a young teenager when I was in the Camp Fire Girls, I would go camping yearly in Wisconsin. One summer I went out for a walk by myself which was unusual since usually we were in groups. The day was warm and I remember putting deodorant on. As I continued my walk, I heard a buzzing sound. I shooed the intruder away but the buzzing continued. I walked faster and the bee continued following me. I started speed walking. Still the bee continued to follow. I was getting quite frantic now. I started to jog away from the camp onto the country road. The bee was still behind me buzzing away. After awhile, my face beet red and my whole body sweating, the bee decided to go away and I slowly walked back to camp.

The walk was a long one. I looked to my left, my right and behind me to make sure the bee did not return.

This memory, on occasion, continues with me to this day. It’s funny though because I wasn’t bitten — just “followed” and probably because of the smell of the deodorant I had on.

I believe part of the stress I feel today with bugs has to do with that one encounter with a bee so long ago.

How do I separate this one past experience with the realities of today?

The author continues to say that “Stress occurs in the absence of these criteria …” and that “emotional competence is compromised usually in ways entirely unknown to the person involved.”  Indeed — I hadn’t thought about this bee incident for awhile now.

Suggestions on how to “forget” it or “manage” it?

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I recently read an article about the TSA body scanners that raised questions about the safety of the amount of radiation used. Click here to read it.

I don’t know about this country of ours. Is it really in the citizens best interest to keep information from them for the “security” of our country?

Life has a way of giving you surprises. Some good – some bad – take some, leave some.

Today while sitting in my living room, I looked to my left out the window and noticed a visitor on our deck.

He was having such a good time eating the seeds that fell in between the boards of the deck. One time I caught him scooting along the deck, then he lay there and enjoyed himself for a bit.

If only people could enjoy their lives as simply.

I wonder what it would take for us to do that?

Can you see him?

Nestled in the trees, this large bird has been swooping around on our property and perching himself as still as a statue. His wings are huge and one can sense that his alertness is sharp. Here’s another picture of the bird that makes his home in one of our trees. The picture was taken through our screened-in porch.

My husband says there is a nest in one of the nearby trees. The bird can be heard squawking but mostly he sits and listens. We could probably learn from his ability to sit and listen.

Here’s one last shot. Then you decide —

So — which is it? Falcon or Hawk?

Too soon. You’re gone too soon. I never dreamt it would be this soon. You are too young and yet today you die. Not to exist on this earth anymore. No one can touch you, hug you, cry with you, pray with you, laugh with you.

I’m sorry for the suffering you went through. This life was not an easy one for you. You shared your pain and your anger and your laughter with me. Mostly you shared your love.

I hope I gave enough of myself to you. Seems like there is only so much “person” to go around. But we always make room for those we love.

I will miss you but you are sleeping now. You will feel no pain, no sorrow, no struggling. I hope to see you at the resurrection —  in the clouds as we meet Jesus.

I don’t write this for you because you exist no more. I only write as a way to ease my pain for I will miss you Terry. Your memory will always be etched in my brain. I will miss you.

The living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.  There is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave wither thou goest.  Ecclesiates 9:5, 6, 10

The dead praise not the Lord.  Psalm 115:17.

But a man dies and is laid low; he breathes his last and is no more. As the water of a lake dries up or a riverbed becomes parched and dry, so he lies down and does not rise; til the heavens are no more, people will not awake or be roused from their sleep.  Job 14:10-12

The Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, … and the dead in Christ shall rise … and so shall we ever be with the Lord.   1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17

Moving from the inner city of Seattle to a small town of approximately 8100 in Minnesota, mental and physical changes have had to be made.

Our Seattle property was landscaped and had 3 evergreen trees in the back. The occasional wasp or bee would make its way through the property with an occasional glance from me. Not so in Minnesota.

Our treed property has many critters. Eagles, hawks, frogs, mosquitoes, no-see-ums, ticks, squirrels, wild turkey, deer, cardinals — even fish in the lake that we have access to.

Never having grown up in the “country” (although we only live a few minutes from the freeway to St. Paul), I feel challenged in this environment.

I had scheduled today as “yard” day. There are many dead leaves on our property from last year or possibly many years. People in the area just seem to let them fall and remain where they are. Last week, I had started the yard project (as I like to call it). I had raked up the leaves along the side and back of the house. It looks nice. Then I ordered my yard waste container which holds 95 lbs of yard waste.

Throwing aside caution to overcome my environmental challenges, I picked up the first of the 3 containers from last week that I had filled with leaves and dumped it in the yard waste container. Satisfied, I picked up the second container. Not too bad — no bugs jumped out at me. Picking up the third container, something leaped that was quick and appeared to have a tail — simultaneously, I yelled and jumped back. (I wonder why no neighbors have ever come to my rescue when I’ve yelled?)

Catching my breath, I stepped forward to see where the “rat” went. Huddled in a corner trying to hide under a leaf that was too small for it was a frog. A dark frog. I felt sorry for it.

I dumped the leaves in the large container. Hmmm … had the frog been in with the leaves or under the container I picked up? Did I just throw the rest of its family in the large yard waste container? No matter. I wasn’t going to sort through a large pile of leaves to get its “family” if it existed.

I started sweeping and went to pick up a bunch of leaves when I had my first accident — the dustpan broke on the first pickup.

Okay, I told myself. I’ll just have to use the dustpan without the handle. Another challenge.  I continued clearing leaves from the driveway entry and the street then headed back into the house checking myself for any ticks I may have on my clothes.

Working in nature is quite different now.

I spray myself with mosquito repellant before leaving the house and working in the yard. Although I must give credit to the dragon flies that ate most of the mosquitoes already. The occasional mosquitoe flies by. Sometimes they “get” me when I forget to spray myself.

One day I’ll get used to “them” — everything, I’ve been told, has a purpose.