Category: Spiritual Reflections

A recent article in the New York Times reported that a Catholic order in Canada had settled on a sexual abuse suit for $17 million dollars.

“The settlement covers incidents from 1950 to 2001 …”

1950? That was a long time ago. And yet, people have not recovered. People can’t recover from sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger or someone you know. All the therapy in the world can’t get rid of the pain, the shame and the feelings of worthlessness that can be associated with sexual abuse.

Sure — therapy is good. But through the years, I have found that unless you have dementia or Alzheimer’s, you can’t erase what the brain has had to deal with.

And so we have millions of people walking around who aren’t whole. The walking wounded. Sadly, the cycle continues as some of the hurt people turn around and hurt other people.

The next time you see anger, sadness, alcoholism, addiction or a myriad of other dysfunctions — they all may be a defense, a mask, for an abused person. Some wear faces of clowns when in public only to shed tears when in private.

May we always reach out in gentleness as we never know who has been touched by this horrible act.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

At a Stanford University commencement speech in 2005, Steve Jobs stated:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

It is true. We all — good and bad — suffer the same fate, death. We all prefer life though. Even those of us who believe in heaven don’t hurry to die to get there.

We are entwined with each other in our humanness. Flesh to flesh — heart to heart. Something tugs the strings that connect us when death’s breath hovers over or breathes on someone we love.

“You are already naked …” Sorry Steve, I disagree. We aren’t naked. Rare is the person who is real — who doesn’t hide behind words or actions. Rare is the person who doesn’t have something that they don’t want revealed.

Even if we live as if we were going to die tomorrow, no one wants their frailties exposed for fear of judgment by other people whose frailties are possibly worse than theirs.

I understand your premise — live your life, be true to yourself. All good in words. But in reality, we struggle to be real.

I hope you attained your sense of belonging while you lived. I hope you reached the pinnacle of humanness. As we are entwined with each other, there has to be someone to reach that pinnacle with us, in order for us to truly live it — the realness, the nakedness.

Prayers ascend for your family’s loss — another human brother gone from this earth —

“… for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Genesis 3:19

He admitted to committing a crime. Depression, embarrassment and fear all set in. “Will I lose everything and everyone around me”, he wondered. The thought made him cringe and he wanted to be alone.

But when love poured out from the people around him, he understood. How can I be so loved in spite of my weaknesses?

That question is one we all grapple with because we all have weaknesses. From murder to lying to stealing to selfishness – we all fall at one time in our lives. No wait. We all fall multiple times in our lives.

How do we treat all of fallen humanity? Will I extend my hand and lift a person up or will I cast the stone that sends them into a spiral of death?

The easy way would be to cast the stone. After all, we could reason, that they are deserving of death not life. And yet by throwing the stone, anger and hate build up in the soul.

Easy on the outside — devastating on the inside. That’s why society is so angry all the time. We seek revenge — an eye-for-an-eye.

Not casting the stone means we have to deal with the internal conflict that might arise — no, that does arise. Pain, resentment, questions that go unanswered, embarrassment, shame, betrayal — all rise inside of us and we slowly try to push them down.

The saying “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is not an easy one to swallow.

Seeing beauty in humanity makes my heart proud.

He admitted to committing a crime. And the response from the people around him was to lift him up out of his despair — unafraid to say “I love you in spite of what you may have done.”

Now — that’s love!

When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7 

(Jesus speaking as a crowd gathers to stone a woman caught in adultery)

Immolate – to sacrifice, to destroy by fire.

I had never heard the word used until I read a New York Times article on a Buddhist monk who did just that — killed himself with fire.

The article made me sad. Do people really believe that setting themselves on fire for a cause they believe in will bring change in government? Sacrificing oneself for a cause is admirable — but to the point of death? Perhaps the monk believed that his sacrifice would inspire other people to stand up in protest.

Immolation is different from martyrdom – with immolation a person kills himself, in martyrdom a person is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of a belief or principle. And yet, a person who immolates oneself has suffered — they just bring about their own demise in the end.

It makes me think of Christ who “laid down his life” for us so that we might live. The cross stands as a stark contrast between those who endure to the point of death and those who can’t endure anymore and cause their own death.

My sympathy to the family, friends and the community of the monks (this is the 2nd one). I know there’s always more to the story than what meets the eye.