Simply Norma

Sitting on my couch, I looked up and noticed how beautiful the day was ~ just by looking out the family room window.

I count myself blessed to be sitting here at peace with no disruptions except for any I make for myself.

My heart is saddened though as I hear a news feature ~ a 7 year old boy in Chicago was shot by a stray bullet while washing his hands in the bathroom in preparation for dinner.

What’s even more tragic is that his father died the previous week.

His name ~ Akeem.

His family ~ heartbroken.

More and more evil seems to be happening …

I sit looking out the family room window … no amount of beauty can erase a senseless killing.

The vibrant colors of autumn along with the crisp air always seem to remind me of a time long long ago when I would walk from the apartment I lived in to my grandmother’s (Mami Saro) house.

As I left the apartment to walk the one block to get to her house, I was focused on getting there.

Mami Saro had me spoiled. It seemed like she had a favorite from each one of her six children’s kids. I considered myself lucky.

The door was usually unlocked when I arrived. Entering the apartment the smell of food always permeated the air. Would she make my favorite “snack” today ~ scrambled eggs with diced spam ham? All I had to do was ask.

The ham would quickly be roasted on a frying pan before the egg would be added. Comfort food.

Yes, this was a most welcoming and loving place. Autumn floods my brain with those feelings.

A friend of mine sent me this bookmark a couple years ago. It’s a constant reminder of how Jesus lived His life ~ reflecting the Father’s character to one person at a time. 

Looking back over my life at all the times God intervened, I am in awe of His love and mercy.  Many times I failed miserably at reflecting His character and He continued to love and bless me. 

I hope you know that He loves you too and that no matter what you’re going through in life, He continues to want to salvage our lives “oner person at a time.”

We woke up to about 5 inches of snow today so mid-morning my husband and I headed outdoors in the 15 degree weather to shovel.

After shoveling our driveway and sidewalks I asked my husband if he was up to shoveling the neighbors driveway and sidewalk also. He agreed.

About 45 minutes after we had come inside, we looked out the window to see the neighbor’s son with his snowblower clearing off one small area that we had decided not to do. Had we waited he would have done all of it, but we have no regrets.

Then I received a text from a neighbor two houses down from us and she wanted to drop something off for us and wanted to make sure we were home.

Within minutes she left a large brown bag on the front bench. We waved at her as her young daughter recently was exposed to someone who had Covid so she didn’t want us to chat this time.

Opening the front door I quickly grabbed the bag and brought it indoors. The bag felt warm as I laid it on the kitchen counter.

I opened it and saw it was a loaf of homemade baked bread. Wow! I felt so blessed by this kind gesture of hers.

I had planned to make a curry dish for dinner with rice but decided to have this bread instead of rice.

It was delicious!

Since we moved to a suburb of Illinois a couple years ago we have been blessed with neighbors who shovel our walkways, bring us food and even desserts!

After dinner my husband heard a knock on the door and when he opened it the neighbor whose driveway we shoveled handed him a box and thanked him for shoveling her driveway. She had woken up with a pain in her arm so wasn’t able to go outside.

We were instructed not to open the box until tomorrow …

Hmmm … I wonder what it could be.

So … what a laugh God and I had today.

I decided I was going to teach myself how to make Makena a dress or two. Purchased the pattern and headed to YouTube as its quite complicated for a newbie. (They seem to make lots of assumptions on what one knows …)

Finally got all the pieces cut and headed to the sewing machine. Reading each step several times I started sewing. I was so proud of myself until I made it to step 2 which I’m sure is missing instructions.

After sewing two pieces together I took it off the machine and laughed and laughed as I had sewn the armpit together.

Back to the drawing board …

Grief is not a lack of faith. When I go for walks and suddenly burst into tears and hyperventilate, it is my flesh and mind reminding me that I have suffered a great loss because I have loved greatly.

I turn my face upwards to lean on my precious Jesus who knows my heart and is the only One who can comfort me.

My husband’s mother recently died and, although they were not close, it had an impact on him.

Sadness crept in and a sense of wondering what to do. We had gone to visit her in another state a month earlier as she had started hospice and we knew the end was near.

People who know my husband know he is a quiet and reserved person, so most chose to send him a text and he responded to each one.

But what else can people do when they aren’t sure exactly how to respond when someone dies?

I have five very simple suggestions:

1. Call them. Instead of texting, which seems to be more common these days, people need to hear the voice of others saying “we heard your mother died, how are you doing?” Allow the person to talk if they have something to say. You can also share a memory of the person if you have one ~ but, if you don’t have a memory to share, it’s okay to have the conversation be short. It’s not about length of time on the phone but more about checking in to let them know you care and are aware of the situation.
2. Send flowers. I would wait a couple days or even a week or two to send flowers. This shows you have not forgotten that they are going through a time of grieving. We received the bouquet below and it lasted almost two weeks and served as a reminder that we were thought of.

3. Send a card. My husband received many of his cards 1-2 weeks after his mother died and they are still on display. Again, a reminder that someone thought of him and cared to send a message.

4. Deliver food or have it delivered. I know this sounds strange to some, but we had a cousin send us a delivery from a company called Wolferman’s which included breakfast muffins and a frozen quiche. Every time we have breakfast we think of the thoughtfulness of that cousin.

5. A year later ~ do one of the above. Although the person has been dead for a year the anniversary of a person’s death is fresh in a person’s mind. I have a friend who, 10 years after his wife has died, still grieves for her so I call him on that day and we share memories of her.

Some feel awkward to call or send something, but small kindnesses really help a person who is grieving.