Category: Spiritual Reflections

The death of a person in one’s life can leave one with mixed feelings. In my case, I felt a sadness at my father’s death yet my brain wasn’t quite able to process it. Not yet. I cried a bit, composed myself and continued on to what would be the best part of our vacation. Yet, there were moments when tears would swell and I didn’t understand why.

I simply didn’t know my father. And that was probably what made me the saddest. I understand that we can’t truly know people 100% but I would have settled for 50% or even 25% … something more than what I had which was mostly other peoples stories about my father that tended to conflict with each other.

My husband and I continued our drive northward to Munising, Michigan where we wanted to take an almost 3 hour cruise on Lake Superior to see the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore which is a part of the National Park Service.

Upon arrival, we noticed there was a boat leaving within 10 minutes but we decided to wait, have lunch and take the 4 p.m. cruise instead. Later, I was thankful we made that decision because as we headed east on the shore the sun reflected quite differently than when we returned. It was quite spectacular as evidenced in the pictures below.

We were blessed with sunshine which offset the cold temperature just a little bit ~ 54° Fahrenheit. Brrr … We were told that the temperature out on the water would be 10° colder. More brrrrr ….

I had packed a winter hat and a blanket for this trip so carried them onto the boat with me.

Although the waters were choppy, once we left the pier people headed to the back of the boat to take pictures. We were warned by our tour guide not to use up all of our film at the beginning of the trip as the rocks would be prettier later on. Film? We all laughed although he was serious as he said he’s probably one of the few people left who uses a camera that has film in it.

This could have been a very emotional day for me but for the beauty of the earth. I believe that in God’s foreknowledge He knew that I would need to be in this spot experiencing these moments.

Death would not overcome earth’s beauty ~ at least not today.

The rock formations soon started coming into view.

At first, I tried to take pictures through the window glass but they weren’t coming out very well. I walked to the back of the boat where people were crammed together jostling to take pictures. Being as I’m short, I couldn’t take pictures over peoples heads so I went back inside and waited for some people to come back inside. Sure enough, as people got cold, they started flocking back in to the warmth of the interior of the boat. Finally I had my opportunity to take pictures.

The pictures below are just a few of the ones I took. You may see some pictures that appear to be duplicates but there will be variations because of the reflection of the sun ~ one heading out from the pier and one returning to the pier.

God’s intervention in this particular moment in my life was welcomed ~ He couldn’t have had better timing.

“But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Psalm 27:19

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Psalm 40:2

“But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; You consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.”  Psalm 10:14

“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:4

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.”  Psalm 28:7

“Lord my God, I called to You for help, and You healed me.” Psalm 30:2

“The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed one.” Psalm 28:8

“Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:6

“Lord, be gracious to us; we long for You. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.” Isaiah 33:3

“Since You are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of Your name lead and guide me.”  Psalm 31:3

“He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” Psalm 28:7

 

The Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore cruise that we took was approximately 3 hours long and went along the 40 miles of shoreline. The price was $36 per person and was well worth it ~ sometimes you can’t put a price on beauty.

Neither can I put a price on a Father who is always there watching over me. Earthly fathers may disappoint because they each have their own weaknesses that they are battling. But not my heavenly Father.

Time and time again He steps into my life ~ He’s always there but it is I who miss some of the everyday blessings He bestows on me. Yet ~ He stepped in again and made sure that I knew He was near me. Standing in front of me to guide me, beside me to listen to me and behind me in case I should fall.

I don’t know if I will see my earthly father in heaven. The last time I spoke to him he spoke of God, but I don’t know what his relationship was like with God when he died.

I will hope ~ that’s all I can do. Perhaps he will answer the questions I have in my heart about him. Perhaps.

For now, I can be at peace knowing that my Father in heaven will never leave me nor forsake me.

Related Posts

Of Vacations and Death

Of Vacations and Death (2)

Of Vacations and Death (3)

Nature does not wait for the calendar to announce the start of autumn, it simply takes in the changes that surround it and embraces them.

As the daytime shadows play peek-a-boo between the tall oak and maple trees, the summer plants yield to the coolness of the night. Impatiens drop their flowers in a necessary reaction to the next season.

Like people, some plants will stubbornly hold on to the last ray of warmth waiting until the last minute to yield to what is inevitable.

Yet, yield they must as the earth sends signals of the new season that is slowly making its entrance.

The trees stand tall as they sway in the coolness of autumn’s beginning. Yet, they too slowly yield to this next season of life.

Soon, the trees will be bare and the ground will be covered in snowflakes that gather together to form white walking paths as if acting in one accord.

This is my favorite season of the year. And just like in nature, I too yield to the change as woodpiles have to be prepared for fireplaces that provide warmth, patio furniture gets cleaned and put away and summer projects ~ complete or incomplete ~ get put aside in favor of last year’s unfinished projects or new ones that need to be started.

The beauty of autumn cannot be denied yet death must occur in order for this new beauty to take its form.

Yet human death leaves no beauty ~ only memories that may soon be forgotten as those who retain them die themselves.

But just like autumn turns into winter and winter into spring, I hold on to the hope of the second coming of Jesus when death will be conquered. Without this, dear reader, we are like leaves that turn to dust never to return.

 

It’s been a tough month for me having to deal with the death of a friend who I’ve known for 17 years.

She would have been 85 years old but died 2 days short of her birthday. Having been on hospice 4 times in the past 2 years, I had grown accustomed to the calls from the nurses giving me updates on how well she was doing. One morning, she woke up, drank her Ensure and fell back asleep.

By early afternoon she was having trouble breathing although she was resting comfortably. Deep breaths. Heart rate 150, then 160 then 180. She suffered from atrial fibrillation and Alzheimers. I was getting calls every 30 minutes from the caregiver and then the hospice nurse called. “We’d like to administer morphine.” I said no as I had been told she was resting comfortably by the caregiver she lived with. “She’s having difficulty breathing, her pulse is over 180 and her face is contorted — she’s uncomfortable and looks distressed.” “Okay,” I said softly, “but I want an update before you administer more than the lowest dose.” Fifteen minutes after the injection she was gone. That quickly.

Fortunately, I had already booked a trip to Seattle to check in on her and was scheduled to fly out two days later. My mind went blank as I wasn’t sure what her death would entail. I was her personal representative (also known as executor) and had never been one before. When I arrived at the airport, my son picked me up and we had breakfast together. Afterwards, I picked up the rental car and headed straight to the funeral home. A friend, who had offered to have her buried in the same cremation plot as his wife, met me there.

While waiting for my friend to arrive, I walked around the cemetery. Most of the grave markers I saw weren’t easily readable. I walked over to one where another friend of mine had been buried. I missed her so much and memories of our time together flooded my mind. Someone else had been here recently as a vase with almost dead roses was set in front of the marker. At least she’s being remembered, I said to no one.

Being here made me feel as if life was meaningless. I thought about Solomon’s words in the Bible …

On Sabbaths, we sometimes drive around after our lunch time snack.

Recently we took a drive along the St. Croix River and stopped at a wayside. There was hardly anyone here. A fence surrounded the area looking down towards the river as the bank was quite steep.

It was peaceful.

This area marks the northern part of the St Croix near Stillwater, Minnesota.

The river was meandering … just like my thoughts do when I stand and watch bodies of water. Does that ever happen to you?

A sudden thought comes to mind — I’m really only transparent with God. The reality is that I don’t have a choice in the matter. I can choose what to share with others and even then sometimes subconsciously I may leave something out. But with God?

He who created me knows every thought even before I think it.

“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” Psalm 139:2

And then it hits me. In spite of what my thoughts are, He still loves me. Simple me. Ignorant me. Uneducated me. Thoughtless me. Forgetful me. Whining me. Lazy me. Missing the mark, me.

There is no one else who accepts me as God does — I’m His daughter. He’s my Father. There is no greater love.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

This is the essence of true love.