Death of a loved one

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged.

Life has given me a strange turn of events.

On Saturday, June 12th, I received an early morning phone call from my sister who told me that my nephew had died.

To clarify, this is my cousin’s son but we grew up like sisters so he was considered a nephew to me. Some would say a second cousin but — a nephew to me.

He was only 27 years. A Spanish teacher. He had been laid off of work, his condo was in foreclosure and he suffered from back pain.

The cause of death is unknown at this time. The autopsy was inconclusive.

A 27 year old man does not just die though. Something happened. Hopefully one day we will find out what.

He was full of life and energy.

The funeral was long, 6 hours. There were approximately 2300 people who attended.

Since my cousin’s husband is a Senator many officials were in attendance.

What does one say to someone who loses a loved one so suddenly. All I could do was hug them and cry. And cry. And cry.

People die every day. It’s “life as it is.” Some die from sickness, some from accidents. Some take their lives because they get tired of living in it. Some take their lives because of mental anguish.

I was once asked if I thought a person could go to heaven if they committed suicide.

Am I a guru or something? My answer was simple: Only God knows. The taking of a life, even one’s own is considered something that God would not want. But, if a person has a mental disease or if they change their minds and can’t do anything about it at the last minute or ???

The possibilities are endless and since I’m not God I can’t venture to guess. It’s best left to the best judge in this universe.

My brain and body have still not recovered from this shock. I am still tired physically and my brain does things that are backwards. My thoughts are muted.

Imagine the parents of my nephew. I can’t envelope the grief. Only my small portion of grief is all that I can feel and it is overwhelming.

It’s a sunny day today with temps in the 70’s. Beauty still exists in spite of sorrow.

Thank you God.

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