On a beautiful sunny afternoon, I stepped outside all decked out in my mosquito gear (jeans, long sleeve shirt and hat) along with my mosquito cologne (deet) to work in the yard.
Making sure my small wagon had all the supplies I needed, I headed to the back of the house to weed. What a perfect day, I thought to myself, as I started my weeding.
After an hour or so I looked around and decided that perhaps I needed a larger shovel so I headed back to the garage.
Walking to the front door of the garage, I noticed a turkey “hanging out.” Uh, no, I don’t think so. I waved my arms and scared it away. That was easy ~ or so I thought.
After making sure the turkey ran well into the woods, I grabbed my shovel and headed back to do more weeding. Feeling quite accomplished at the work I had completed in a couple of hours, I put everything into my wagon and headed back to the garage to put my tools away.
Then I noticed “it” on the ground. Â A white blotchy substance made a path into my garage. Hmmm …
What could that be?
Putting the wagon away, I followed the “path” into the garage. Next to the car. Next to the bicycles. Back to the shop.
Then my eyes followed the path up a table where she was …
Sitting on top of my deck cushions was the largest meanest looking turkey who had made a “poop” path.
Uh, okay, what do I do now? I knew that this required much deep thinking …
At first, I tried reasoning with the turkey and scolded her for being in the garage. Â Then I pointed to the garage entrance and asked her to leave. “Go on” I said in my stern (probably incomprehensible) voice. Â After a few minutes of coaching, I came to the realization that this was not going to work. (Uh, you think?)
Naturally I put my thinking cap back on and thought about this logically.
Let’s see now ~ turkeys have wings and, as I’ve observed, don’t fly much which makes them similar to chickens. Of course! Â What a bright idea I had!
In the shriek-i-est voice I could muster, I clucked. And clucked … and clucked … and, hmmm … I don’t think the clucking was working very well as I was getting very odd looks from this turkey.
Okay so I had to think a little deeper. I mean, I had to really think like a turkey. (hahaha)
I finally thought I had the solution to my problem.
In my shriek-i-est voice I clucked again but this time I flapped my arms and started walking out of the garage. I tried this several times as I thought about the story of the Pied Piper who used a magic pipe to lure rats away from a town. I did this for, oh, ten minutes or so. (Where is a camera to make a video for YouTube when you need it? Â This probably would have garnered a million views ~ yes?)
Well, do you think it worked?
Sorry to say, all the turkey did was turn its head from one side to the other trying to figure out what I was doing. Â At least I made it think, no?
I was down to my last resort ~ waiting til my husband came home from work in a half hour.
And husband was quite bold about the whole matter. He simply took the end of a broom and poked it gently and this HUGE turkey flew out of the garage. Â You should have seen the wingspan on that thing!
So ~ what’s the lesson in all of this?
Never ~Â ever ~ try to think like a turkey. Â (laughing)
